Having an epic story is about asking the girl, shooting the shot, launching the business, running the ad, knocking on the door, quitting the job, and taking the risk. When you’re 85 years old and on your deathbed, you’re not going to wish you had fewer crazy stories; you’re going to wish you had taken more shots. Confidence comes from evidence, not the other way around.
The Importance of Building Evidence
Confidence without evidence is a delusion. It’s you beating your chest and looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to pretend you’re something you’re not. Do it to get the confidence, but don’t think you need confidence to do it. The idea of “fake it until you make it” should switch to “walk it before you talk it.” Prove it to yourself, so you don’t need to prove it to others.
Embrace Failure and Learn from It
Effort often goes unnoticed. If you aren’t willing to fail, you’re never going to get good. Losers stay losers because they aren’t willing to lose. Confidence is domain-specific, so being good at one thing doesn’t guarantee you’ll be good at another. To get good at something, practice it directly.
Persistence is Key
The world belongs to those who can keep going without seeing immediate results. The longer you can wait to see the results while still continuing to put in the effort, the more you can win in life. For example, to be a top 1% podcaster, you need to upload 21 podcasts. 90% of people don’t get past one episode, and 9% don’t get past 20. Persistence is what separates winners from the rest.
The Power of Consistency
Consistency over time is crucial. I spent 4.5 years making two podcasts a week, and it was only after this period that things started taking off. The message of your content is only 10% of how people consume it; 90% is the context around the message. People believe in you when you have proof of your success.
Focus on Inputs, Not Outputs
Track leading metrics (inputs) rather than lagging metrics (outputs). For example, if you’re trying to get in shape, track how many calories you’re eating instead of your weight. If you focus on doing the right things consistently, the results will follow.
The Infinite Game
Life is an infinite game with no agreed-upon rules, and the goal is to keep playing. In marriage, health, and business, the point is to stay in the game. By not giving up, you win. Define winning as leaving everything on the field and giving your best effort.
Embrace Hard Work
Commit to the process of hard work because of what it does to you. The only asset you get to keep for life is your character. Focus on building the person you want to become, and you will never lose.
Handling Criticism and Opinions
Most people’s opinions about your life are a reflection of their own preferences. Don’t let others’ opinions dictate your path. Focus on what makes you happy and fulfills your goals.
Redefine Your Identity
Avoid making “I am” statements based on past experiences. Instead, focus on what you can do in the present. This makes changing your behavior easier and keeps your identity under your control.
The Power of Epic Stories
Choose the path that creates the most epic story, whether it’s a story of failure or success. No one regrets their epic stories; they regret the stories they never told. Reframe your disadvantages as reasons that will make your success story even better.
Heroes and Villains
Heroes and villains share the same backstory of pain. The difference is in how they choose to react to it. Heroes use pain to fuel positive actions, while villains let it consume them. Choose to be your own hero by how you deal with pain.
Conclusion
Document your life, especially the difficult times. These are the stories that will define you and prove your resilience. No heroes are without epic monsters; the bigger the monster, the greater the hero.
FAQs
How can I build confidence?
Build confidence through evidence and experience, not by trying to fake it. Prove to yourself that you can achieve your goals.
Why is persistence important?
Persistence separates winners from the rest. Consistency over time leads to success, even if immediate results are not visible.
How should I handle others’ opinions?
Focus on your own goals and happiness. Other people’s opinions are a reflection of their own preferences and should not dictate your path.
What is the infinite game?
Life is an infinite game with no agreed-upon rules. The goal is to keep playing and not give up. Define winning as giving your best effort every day.
How can I reframe my disadvantages?
Reframe your disadvantages as reasons that will make your success story even more epic. Use them as fuel for positive actions.